Next year

I have had this song on my iPod for a couple of years, and I like the fact that he lists out all the resolutions he feels he should have and admits that he probably won't do any of them. But, despite being scared, the one thing he IS going to do is to tell someone how he feels about them. And really, isn't that what is most important? Our relationships with others?

When we make resolutions they are often self centered. I will lose weight, I will be more successful in my career, I will improve my mind. Not that this is bad, self improvement is necessary and important. However, what are we doing to make the lives of others better? How are we sustaining our most important relationships with our significant other, family, and friends?

This year, amongst my goals for health and success, are goals for my relationships and the 'greater good'. My friend Kelly and I are creating a club that contributes to a different charity every month. I've planned visits home to see my family. I'm making more of an effort to do more random special things for my boyfriend (he certainly outdoes me in this category). I want 2010 to be full of experiences that bring more joy and happiness into others' lives, and mine too. I won't remember if I'm 10 lbs. overweight on December 31st, but I will remember the good things that came about.

Make a resolution to bring joy and happiness into people's lives. By doing so you will bring the same into yours. Happy New Year!

Just for today

When my mom heard I was writing this blog, she gave me some motivational quotes and clippings she had saved over the years. Cleaning out my office today (step one in my road map for 2010) I found this one. Called 'A New Year', this was the New Year's column of Ann Landers and was based on the original credo of Alcoholics Anonymous:

'New Year's Resolutions

Just for today I will live through this day only, and not set far-reaching goals to try to overcome all my problems at once. I know I can do something for 24 hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." He was right. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. I will chase them out of my mind and replace them with happy thoughts.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those things I cannot correct.

Just for today, I will improve my mind. I will not be a mental loafer. I will force myself to read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.

Just for today, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll make an honest effort to quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat nothing I know to be fattening. And I will force myself to exercise-even if it's only walking around the block or using the stairs instead of the elevator.

Just for today, I'll do something I've been putting off for a long time. I'll finally write that letter, make that phone call, clean that closet, or straighten out those dresser drawers.

Just for today, before I speak I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk softly, act courteously and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today I'll not improve anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it, thereby saving myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour to relax alone. During this time I will reflect on my behavior and get a better perspective on my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions. I will expect nothing from the world, but I will realize that as I give to the world, the world will give to me.'

It doesn't feel so overwhelming when we just focus on the present. We can have big dreams and goals, but we just need to focus on what small part needs to be done today-not what needs to be done over the course of 2010. I hope this helps you prepare for an amazing 2010!

Be New and Improved

The thought of ending the current year and starting a new one always excites me. The chance to wipe clean the slate and put all bad decisions behind me is so refreshing. Each year I write in my journal what I accomplished this year and what I hope to do in the coming year. Sometimes I have succeeded, sometimes I have fallen short. Regardless, the new year gives us an excuse to reflect on ourselves and how we can improve our health, mind, relationships, and bank accounts.

I have found that the 'resolutions' I make that go unfulfilled are because of fear. I often overwhelm myself with big ideas and when faced with taking action it all just seems so daunting. The what if's take over and I find myself backing away for fear that I will end up worse than last year.

Not this year. I took this week off from work so that I could relax and spend some time figuring out my plan for 2010. Instead of big resolutions I am breaking them up into chunks. I urge you to do the same. Figure out what you want to happen in the next year. Dream big, but spread your goals out over time. Doing something small for 365 days can produce big results. Ponder these small changes that yield big results:

-Cutting just 200 calories out of your diet daily will make you 20lbs lighter by 2011
-If instead of feeding your daily Starbucks habit you put the $3 you would have spent in a jar, at the end of the year you will have $1,095
-Resolve to learn one new word a day and you will have expanded your vocabulary by 365 words

As Buddha said, "A jug fills drop by drop."

Map out the new year, and the route to a new and improved you.

How true...

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

-Alan Cohen

A little something to think about on this week's blog topic:)

Embrace Change

Many people are afraid of change when what already exists is comfortable. Current conditions may not be ideal, but people are willing to forgo what could be when the existing is just ok.

I got an email from a property manager in my department a couple of weeks ago. We had just renovated a large dining room at one of the high end independent living communities in my company, and he said that the residents were unhappy with the new chairs and were not being quiet about it. They complained that the chairs were larger than the old ones and that they were backing into each other and damaging the walls.

The chairs that we replaced were very old. Rigid straight backs and ripping vinyl seats, not exactly great. The new chairs were the standard chairs we had been using for the past 3 years in a large chunk of our 500+ communities accross the country. Most communities were beyond ecstatic to get new chairs, so why was this community being so difficult?

They refused to embrace change. Instead of being excited to have brand new, ergonomically correct, smooth gliding chairs, they chose to be upset that these new chairs were different from what they were used to. They chose to let their disastisfaction not only ruin their mealtimes, but also fill their time with complaining amongst themselves and to the company. There were no suggested solutions, just resistance. Simply resisting something new brought huge amounts of negativity into their lives.

Luckily with some creativity the dining room was resituated so that there was no more banging into one another. Many residents were finally happy with the change. We did recieve one more complaint letter after, but you can't please everyone.

When faced with change, always look at what it can result in. Often the good will outweigh the bad, if you choose to look at it that way.

I love you New York, but you scare me...

The theme for this week came at a good time because tomorrow I am doing something I love. I am leaving for a place I have only been twice but have been in love with since I was a child-New York City.

When I was three I liked to climb into the lower cabinets in my parents' kitchen, shut the door, and pretend it was a car. One day my mom knocked on the door and asked, "Where are you going?" I replied, "To New Ork!" I had seen the big sparkling city on the soap operas my mom watched day after day. Bright lights, beautiful people, 'New Ork' just seemed like the most wonderful place in the world.

Even though I am very excited to go, I do have a bit of anxiety about this trip. I am doing something that I have never done before, and that many people are afraid to do-ever.

I am driving a car in Manhattan.

Luckily it is only to the Battery Park garage to drop off my rental car on the way back from my project in NJ, so it's not like I'm driving around the perimeter of Central Park. Still, I feel very intimidated. My first time in New York I realized that if you didn't start rolling forward before the light turned green you got honked at. There is no hesitating, you must be an aggressive driver-which I most certainly am not. Fear inducing or not, it has to be done in order to get to my destination.

So after tomorrow I will mark something off my list of things I never thought I would do. Hopefully it doesn't come with any tears or rental insurance claims. Regardless, take this into consideration: doing something you love may come with some anxiety, but in the end the experience will be worth it.

Do What You Love

If all your bills were paid, and you had more than enough money to last your entire lifetime, what would you spend your time doing?

Many people say they would travel, go on shopping sprees, lay on the beach all day every day for the rest of their lives. But all of those things get old after a while. What is something that would truly bring you great fulfillment every day? Something that you could do all day and not look at the clock. Something that motivated you to get out of bed, excited for the day ahead.

This week look inside yourself and think about things you have done in your life that gave you that warm fuzzy feeling. Paint, volunteer, write, run-anything that makes you feel good and makes you say, "I love doing this!"

Lombardi didn't settle...

I know my first blog of the week dealt with football too but this fit too well with the week's theme:)

“If you'll not settle for anything less than your best, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in your lives.”
-Vince Lombardi

I have come across many Vince Lombardi quotes in my research for this blog. Not being a huge sports fanatic (I leave that to my boyfriend) I am embarassed to say I didn't know much more about Lombardi than the fact that he coached the Packers at one point (and I only know that because I'm from Wisconsin). After a little internet searching, I found that he led the Packers to three consecutive NFL championships and the first two Super Bowl wins. He also never had a single losing season. This is certainly a man that did not settle for mediocrity, and he succeeded in a big way.

We may not have something as huge as an NFL team to coach, but we still have many opportunities daily to do something with our best efforts. Exercise as hard as you can, strive to do your best at your job, work hard to follow your dream. You may not get a trip to Disney World or a Super Bowl ring, but your efforts will be rewarded in some way that matters to you.

Settle for More

This week remember to settle for more/don't settle for less. Here is a fantastic video to get you started-I apologize for the subtitles!



I think about when I work out and set my treadmill for 3 miles. I rarley go past those 3 miles. What if I just went until I couldn't go anymore, how far would I be able to go? We often limit ourselves when it comes to our abilities. We set an easy goal and attain it. Then the bad part is that instead of setting another bigger goal we just quit. We don't stretch ourselves to see what we are really capable of.

This week set a goal and go beyond it. Don't settle for just okay, settle for more!

Make a decision...

"You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now." ~Joan Baez

Make a good choice:) Happy weekend!

No Day But Today

"I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is just
To be
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today..."

-Jonathon Larson, RENT

In the spirit of Thanksgiving; be thankful for each moment and live it with love, not fear.

Ferris Bueller had it right...

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it." ~From the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Looking a little deeper at this movie, that is exactly the point. Instead of sitting in school all day like every day before, Ferris and two of his friends skip classes. They 'borrow' Cameron's dad's sports car, finagle their way into a fancy downtown Chicago restaurant, catch a foul ball at the Cubs' game, and Ferris even makes it onto a parade float. At the end of the day, Cameron admitts it was the best day of his life. I am certainly not condoning auto theft nor truancy, but Ferris took the initiative to really enjoy a day to its fullest.

Make Every Moment Count

We often forget how quickly life can be taken away. We waste time worrying about the future when we really should be enjoying the present. I am certainly guilty of this, especially when I travel for work. I have been in some really great locations across the U.S., and have often found myself skipping dinner on the beach or not stopping to take a great photograph because I'm afraid I won't get my work done. It reminds me of a quote I found in high school:

"The work will wait while you show a child a rainbow. But the rainbow won't wait while you do the work."

Sometimes we just need to be reminded of what is worthy of our time. This week I want you to think about how you spend your time. Do at least one thing every day that makes you happy. Do something to help someone in need. Spend time with or contact someone you love. Look at each day as if it could be your last and make moments you will look back on and be proud of!

Believing in Destin

This week I traveled to beautiful Destin Florida. White sand beaches, bright blue water, and Crystal Bay Senior Living-the site of my project and reason for my trip. Crystal Bay was one of the first projects I worked on when I started my job as an in house Interior Designer for a senior living company. After several revisions and budget cuts, it was finally approved this year.

The project consisted of a small wing of the building reserved for residents with dementia. When I first visited the community I was amazed with the beautiful property and surrounding area. Most of the building was tired looking, but not awful. The Memory Care wing was another story entirely. The furniture was old and tired, the carpet worn and stained, and the entire area was very dark in general. Not somewhere I would want my family members to live. Because of the market level of this project, (it is in a very nice area of Destin), this renovation was on the radars of members of company senior management. I could not screw this one up.

As I sat in the airport on Thursday I started getting a sick stomach. What if I didn't order enough furniture? What if the dining tables didn't fit? What if I forgot some huge component that was going to put a huge black mark on my record? This could be an awful trip.

Then I thought back to my theme this week. I was certainly not believing in myself! I had looked this project over a million times. I double and triple checked my specifications. If anything did go wrong, I was prepared enough to fix it. It was going to be fine!

And I was right. Once everything was moved into its correct spots it looked wonderful! I was still missing a few pieces that would be buttoned up in the coming weeks, so the project wasn't 100% complete when I left. But all my efforts (and the tireless efforts of the contractors and project managers) had created a space that was a complete 180 from what I had seen two years earlier. I had helped make it into a place I was proud of.

Believing that everything was going to be fine helped make the hours in the airport much less stressful(did I mention I traveled during the FFA's computer meltdown?). I wasn't running potential problems through my head, I was relaxing and enjoying my book. Even though I was about three and a half hours late to the site, I wasn't concerned. I knew it would all work out, and it did.

I read somewhere that 90% of the things we worry about never happen. Believing in our capabilities can help take that unecessary stress out of our lives and leave in its place a feeling of comfort.

Live Good

This weekend I did a little shopping with my friend, Mel. After perusing through all of the beautiful patterned papers and clever greeting cards we came upon the shelves full of books for gifting. These were books full of inspirational quotes or journals that encouraged reflection. We flipped through several, but the one that I decided to buy was called "Live Good". Why did this book stand out amongst the shelves and shelves of others? Every page had a title that reminded me of my quest to inspire people to overcome their fears.

I decided to work my way through this book. For every title I will take a related action, as well as post some related material. I challenge you to work your way through with me. Hopefully by the end we will all be living good!

This week's title is Belive In Yourself. A little quote to get you started:

'If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.' ~Vincent Van Gogh

Whatever your 'paint', silence the negative voice and be confident!

Fear for Thought

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might win, by fearing to attempt."

-Jane Addams

Try something new today, and don't worry about the outcome. You might be surprised!

Be the first

Are you afraid to be the first one to do or try something? Check out this guy, he is my new hero:

(you can fast forward from about 1:30-2:45, you'll get the idea)

I give this guy credit. Even with a little help from my friend Miller Lite, I would still not get up and start my own dance party. I give the second guy almost as much credit. It takes a lot of courage to be even the second one doing something totally different.

The message is short today: Don't be afraid to do something different from the crowd if it makes you feel good. You may even help spread the good feeling to others!

Fear for thought...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

Fear for Thought

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship."

-Louisa May Alcott

Overcome your fear of making mistakes by realizing that mistakes are not always bad. Mistakes help us learn what works and what doesn't. Mistakes help us grow.

Did this clutter make my butt look fat?

I am afraid to let material things go.

After seeing the countless ads for "Cash for Gold" I decided to pilfer through my three jewelry boxes and make some extra money. I really don't wear much jewelry, so the fact that I even have three jewelry boxes is sickening in itself.

I don't particularly like gold, so in the beginning it was easy to throw sets of gold earrings, random chains, and a couple of rings into the 'to sell' box. I filled the small box about halfway when I hit a wall. I couldn't get rid of the ring from Aunt Ina Mae, even though I acquired it from a box of throw aways when she moved. And how about the tired looking necklaces from my deceased grandmother (that screamed 1987 and which I would never wear again)?

Maybe I was afraid that if I got rid of these things that I may wish I had them some day in the future. What if I had a daughter and wanted to give her Aunt Ina Mae's ring? It wouldn't happen if I sold it for spending money. And maybe I was afraid that by selling gifts from Grandma Doris I was selling off my memories of her. It almost felt like betrayal.

When it came down to it, I had a lot of 'emotional clutter'. According to Peter Walsh, author of "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?", there is a process to rid yourself of emotional clutter:

- Realize that if you let go of an item, you do not let go of that person. People do not live on through material items.

- Hold on to items that only bring back positive memories, not painful ones.

- If there are items that encourage you to keep up a ritual based on grief, consider letting it go and focus on the positive instead.

- Make sure your space has a great representation of the past but also leaves room for you to celebrate the present and plan for the future.

- Keep the items that truly represent your loved one.

Armed with Peter's list I sorted through again. This time I held each item in my hand and decided if it really meant anything to me. Believe it or not, the second time around most things ended up in the sell box or in the garbage. I realized that I had other gifts from family members and friends that were much more important to me than a piece of jewelry. I didn't even feel bad about it.

All in all, I made $75 and emptied out one large jewelry box. It felt so good I moved on to my closet, bookshelves, and linen closet. Unfortunately my butt was not any smaller, but I did feel a little lighter inside.

I'm sure we all have some sort of emotional clutter, minimal or severe. Sort through some of yours this week. You'll be surprised how great it feels.

Put yourself out there

A few weeks ago, I did something I wouldn't normally do. Fueled by Barbara Stanny's book, "Secrets of Six Figure Women", I decided to Google her name. She has a fantastic website that I started tooling around on. There was a Contact Me button, which listed her email.

Normally, I would have thought it silly to email an established author. She probably gets millions of emails a day telling her how wonderful she is, and mine would just get lost in the mix. However, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be on this new wave of letting go of all the parts of me that said it was stupid. I sent her an email. I was so nervous writing it, I probably wrote three different drafts. Finally, after much deliberation, I hit send. This rush of relief and excitement washed over me. Off to her inbox it went. I couldn't take it back now.

Three days later I opened my email to see a message from none other than Barbara Stanny. She not only read my email, but read my blog. She loved it! She even thanked me for the email and said that it meant a lot to her. Had I not been at work when I read it, I would have jumped up and down and squealed like a 10 year old girl.

But it didn't end there. Just last week Barbara emailed me again. It was a short message, "Hi Amanda…check out my latest blog…it’s about you: www.barbarastannyblog.com"

She wrote her blog about me and my blog! Once again, I was prompted to jump up and down. She talked about the idea behind my blog and even urged her readers to check it out. I got some encouraging comments from her readers, (if you came back to read my latest-thank you!). It felt nothing short of amazing.

Point of this week's blog: don't be afraid to put yourself out there. One simple email brought about a series of events that made me feel that I had finally done something worth while. My dream of helping people overcome their fears wasn't too far off.

Special thanks to Barbara for her encouragement (and all that she has done for women everywhere). Contact someone you admire this week, and do it with confidence. You never know what could come of it!

Just ask!

Sometimes I am afraid to ask for things.

Randy Pausch's, The Last Lecture, made it onto my 'all time favorite books' list last year. For those of you who haven't read it, I strongly recommend picking up a copy. Chapter 55 is titled, "All you have to do is ask." On a family trip to Disney World, Randy's father asks him if he knows how people get to sit in the front of the monorail. Randy strides up to the monorail attendant and asks, "Excuse me, could the three of us please sit in the front car?" The attendant replies, "Certainly, Sir." And Randy, his son, and his dumbfounded father take their seats next to the driver.

I took this nugget of inspiration and rolled with it. I called my cell phone provider and asked for a lower monthly rate. The last time I called I was told that I had the lowest rate and there was nothing more they could do. This time I asked for their customer relations department, and again asked for a lower plan. She not only gave me two lower priced options, and then she gave me an additional 1,000 rollover minutes. I also asked about a texting plan I had taken off but wanted to put back on when I realized how many texts I recieved in a month. "Certainly Ms. Broadhead. And I will remove all the extra charges you accrued from that removal this month." Fantastic!

Even better was my email to Northwest Airlines. On a trip for work, I was bumped from my connecting flight, which was overbooked by five people. The next flight was not for another 7 hours, so I was stuck in the Detroit airport and my whole trip was screwed up. I emailed the airline. I asked if I could recieve a travel voucher. I justified it by saying that people who volunteer to give up their seats on an overbooked flight recieve travel vouchers, and the airline volunteered me themselves. Five days later I recieved a travel voucher for $200 and an apology.

If you ask for something and the answer is no, that just means nothing changes. The worst thing you could do is not even try at all. Pull a Randy Pausch this week, and claim your seat at the front of the monorail.

Essay contest

I finally did it, I entered an essay writing contest. I had clipped out the rules from Real Simple magazine about a month ago, and had thought about starting it a million times. Finally Sunday night, (did I mention it was due by 11:59 PM on Monday?) I started writing. About 4PM on Monday I thought I wouldn't have it done, and even told my mom on the phone that I wouldn't finish in time to submit. She gave a genuine, "Awww, that's too bad!" And for some reason that triggered it. 7 hours and 59 minutes? I could get it done!

And I did, along with 3 loads of laundry, dinner, and 2 episodes of Sopranos. The rules said 1,500 words or less, and around 9PM I kept hovering around 1,550. Not my best work ever, but my bigger goal was just to get something complete submitted and show myself I could do it. I'm not one for submitting sub-par work...on purpose anyway, so I am a little disappointed that I didn't start sooner.

I decided to write about my struggle this week because this was all a result of procratination-procrastination rooted in fear. It was like I was trying to give myself an excuse for the essay not to be perfect, so if it was critisized I could say, "Well I did it in 24 hours, so considering the time constraint it's pretty good." I realized I do this all the time. I put things off because I am afraid to do them, or afraid of what people will think of the outcome.

Really what did I have to worry about? No one was going to read my essay but the staff at Real Simple. Not like they are posting submissions on a billboard in Times Square. And as mediocre as it was, I'm sure there were many that were worse. It was all in my head.

We'll see if I hear anything from Real Simple. In the mean time stop putting off something you have been meaning to do and get started today!

Successful book

I didn't plan on posting again until next week when I did something scary, but everyone has been asking me what this amazing book about successful women is called. "Secrets of Six Figure Women" by Barbara Stanny is the book, you can buy it on Amazon for less than $10.

Even though it is geared toward women, everyone can get something out of it. (Guys you may just want to fold the cover back when reading it in public). This book makes you realize that you are the only one holding yourself back from being wildly successful. The women in this book are risk takers. They do not worry about what other people think. They make mistakes and learn from them instead of dwelling on them. They get out of their comfort zone and shake things up.

My favorite part in this book is called "Letting go of your cliff". The author tells a story about a mountain climber who suddenly falls and finds herself dangling from a cliff, calling out to God to help her. She hears a voice that tells her it will help her, but first she must let go of the cliff. An extreme analogy, but effective.

How many of us cling to things just because they are comfortable? And not even 'good' comfortable! A miserable day job we're afraid to quit because we'd lose a steady paycheck. Or a bad relationship that we're afraid to end for fear of being alone. Without letting go of the cliff, we can never find out the amazing things waiting out there for us.

I strongly recommend you read this book, and let go of your cliff!

My first blog...finally!

In 4th grade I declared I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. My friend Laura and I would sit on the metal grates on the playground at recess with our spiral notebooks and craft our book series (a knock-off of Little Women). On Book Day where we were to dress up as a character from our favorite book, Laura and I dressed up like our own characters and told the whole school that we were writing our own book series. It was going to happen. Besides, Louisa May Alcott was dead, who was going to come after us for plagiarism?

Those half-written manuscripts are somewhere in a Rubbermaid tote in my mom’s basement. I have yet to send my short story from college creative writing into a magazine to get published, as my professor suggested. And I have 72 pages of my semi-memoir written, but still have not gotten even that much into a cohesive string of thought. Why haven’t I done it? And why am I just now starting the blog I have wanted to write for years?

One simple answer-I was afraid. I had an epiphany this week after reading a book about successful women. The author discussed how many of us are afraid to be successful. We would rather stay exactly where we are-even if we are miserable-because the thought of taking a risk and shaking things up scares us far more than a life of being comfortably numb.

I thought about all of the great ideas I have had over the years that never came to fruition. I told myself I didn’t have enough time, didn’t have enough money to get started, and every other excuse imaginable. That was all they were-excuses. Because the main reason was that I was so afraid of failure, afraid of rejection, afraid of making a mistake, afraid of what people would think of me. Afraid, period.

And with that I found the perfect subject for the blog I was so scared to write for years-fear. I hope that by writing about it I can overcome some of my fears, and maybe help someone reading this to do the same. I already scratched one thing of my 'list of things that scare me' today. Success. I challenge you to do something today that scares you-and to be amazing at it.